6.28.2009

Bee a Transformer


Today's Graces:


1. Knowing that even when the Sunday School lesson goes completely awry, the 5 year olds don't care and yes, you and they can turn Transformers into a beautiful object lesson.

2. Loving the 5 year olds.

3. The 5 year olds loving back.

4. Being asked to teach.

5. Teaching.




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6.26.2009

Bee Cool


Friday's Five Things To Be Thankful For:

1. Air conditioning
2. Ice
3. Deoderant
4. People who wear deoderant
5. Fall


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6.25.2009

Bee a Censor

Hannah Montana album coverImage via Wikipedia

Five Phrases to Be Erased From Our Family Lexicon Starting Tomorrow

1. Insert Name of Person Who Apparently Doesn't Speak at a Decibel Recognizable to Nine Year Olds -say whaaaat? *Bulge eyes for effect and look incredulous*
2. Um, not so much. *Roll eyes for effect*
3. Oh no you di n’t! * Include 3 part Z-Snap*
4. OMG!!! *Includes crossed arms and minor stomping*
5. I know…right?

Let me illustrate....

Conversation in my house:

Me: OK, time to turn off the computer.

9 Year Old: Crazy- Turnin’-Off-Computer-Momma say whaaaat? *Bulge eyes for effect and look incredulous*

Me: You heard me, enough computer time for today love. Don’t you think you’ve played enough?

9 Year Old: Um, not so much. *Roll eyes for effect*

Me: Well, regardless, time to turn it off.

9 Year Old: Oh no you di n’t * Include 3 part Z-Snap*

Me: Oh yes I did young lady and no more computer for the rest of the week, and Hannah Montana and iCarley and whatever else I can think of!

9 Year Old: OMG!!!

I know…right?

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h69wzeqntg

6.23.2009

Bee Indignant...if only for a bit.

An excerpt from a real letter from a real person to a real company (who shall remain nameless) who is letting me share her wit, wisdom and ability to keep the big picture in focus. Hysterical and oh so true.

What in the world are you trying to do to me? How can you sleep at night knowing what you require of consumers when they think they are going to get a rebate for buying one of your products? Please indulge me for just a moment as I walk you through the painful process that prompted this email .

First you tell me I must fill out the form correctly (Print my name in all caps??? are you kidding??), then I must make sure I use the right address label that you have provided for me (don't fill that envelope out yourself, that will surely void the rebate!) Finally, I almost lose a finger cutting the bar code label off of the box. ( Don't forget to send in the UPC code AND proof of purchase!! Almost got me there!!)

I double check my assignment, make sure I have enough postage ...good Lord, the envelope is almost two inches thick. I truly believe that too few stamps is probably what trips up most consumers........(thank goodness for my in-home postage meter) And then maybe if I haven't screwed up any of the 14 steps , I might be lucky enough to actually get that rebate.....

Not so fast Mrs. Hardworking-short on time-we thought you needed a craft project consumer: Now what we are going to do is send you a prepaid card that requires another 5 steps to redeem it!!!

She certainly will have lost her mind by now and won't be able to make it through this last stage of the process!! I easily see through this thinly veiled effort to try and get me to give up, your are obviously hoping that if the average "Bubba" does manage to actually get his origami project mailed in on time, there is not a chance in hell that he will have the fortitude to make it through the last 8 steps to activate said card?

Well gentlemen, I hate to inform you, but I've been to this rebate rodeo many times before. And this cowgirl isn't going to give up. Not only am I going to activate my card, choose a pin, verify my information and re verify my pin, but after doing so I am going to take sheer pleasure in marching down to my local grocery store to spend my twenty dollars.

As I approach the express lane, I will lift my rebate card high over my head, and laugh an evil, blood curdling laugh knowing you didn't get the best of me. All the while realizing that the time it took to fill out your tedious nerve wracking forms is time that I can never get back.....time spent away from my husband and children, time I could have spent volunteering at my local food bank, time that is gone forever.

My hat is off to you.....enjoy your golden parachute, while I scurry off to claim my gallon of milk and box of tampons.



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Just Bee


Every St. Patrick's Day since 1989 I took a special moment to observe the day Susie left. Her mom calls it "transitioning" which is beautiful. "Left" is how it felt at the time and "died" is the word I use now. The finality of the word "died" does not frighten me any more so it is the one I choose. If you knew Susie, it would not frighten you anymore either.

I usually find some way to send a note to a friend, find a place to be alone or even drink green beer in her honor. That is until this year. Somehow March flew by like the wind, April a blur and May, well who knows. It was only this day, that I realized that March came and went without any observance on my part whatsoever.

Susie is laughing. And reminding me again. And teaching me again. And doing all those things she did while here that made me crazy, and mad and happy all at the same time.

So Suze, it is on this day that I vow to slow down. Choose to be. Have time to remember my friend. Thank you again for the reminder. I needed it.

Green beer anyone?

6.22.2009

Bee a Sparrow

Below is a feeble tribute to Susie written in my younger days looking back at my even younger days...

St. Patrick’s Day. A day for celebration, and wishes of good luck. A day to say good-bye. As I approached the college chapel I noticed how beautiful the campus was in spring. Trees budding with life, flowers celebrating with dashes of brilliant color and green, green St. Patrick’s Day grass.

I had a driving need to be at the chapel before anyone else. When I arrived I wondered why. No flowers, no people, just the unique silence a place of worship holds when not filled with believers. Sunlight streamed through the windows and onto the pews as if preparing a palette of light for those soon to be seated. I slowly walked down the main aisle needing and yet dreading the upcoming day’s events.

I ascended the stairs and busied myself with the necessities of the afternoon service. Ministers appraised, music sifted through, family and friends notified.

Eulogy written, rewritten, torn up, and written again. What words could possibly mean anything?

I fervently prayed for strength to get through the next hour and a half without succumbing to the overwhelming grief that had enveloped my life since hers had ended. I looked at what I had written. Words so inadequate for a life so wonderful, a fight so valiant and a comrade so dear.

Would she understand? Would those who loved her? Would I be belittling a spirit with words so seemingly weak? I shoved the words into my pocket as the minister and her parents walked in and welcomed them. Enough time for reflection.

I was amazed at how many people fit into the tiny chapel as I peered over the podium. The music had been beautiful, the minister’s words consoling and now there was me at the podium with a feeble declaration of her life’s impact. As I began to read my voice faltered.

I stopped and peered into the sea of people who now looked to me for… what? While gazing out into the crowd, my eyes locked with an old friend sitting in the middle of a pew crammed full with the many young faces present. Something drew me past his tears and out the doors of the chapel which were opened on the warm spring day. A sparrow had perched herself on the chapel’s stair landing and at that moment decided to sing to her heart’s content. Her chirps were loud and clear and captured the essence of what my eulogy struggled to convey. Although her euphony lasted only a few seconds, it was long enough to celebrate the life of a friend.

In those few seconds, the message became clear. The service was not about my words, her chirps or biblical verse. It was about the grandeur of grief. A sadness so deep over the loss of a person so treasured. New valuation, acceptance and release of the fight that was fought. Overwhelming love for the person that was and the Spirit that is. Words could never do justice. Just a collective consciousness drawn from the depths the souls who knew her.

As I finished reading my poem, I knew I had contributed my piece. A single note in a symphony of retrospection, emancipation and celebration. But a note nevertheless.

Like the death of a close friend, loss visits us in many forms; a cancer diagnosis, a layoff from a job, sending a child off to college, ablation of a dream, separation from a loved one, a project nullified, a friend wronged and so on. All losses deserve the opportunity to be grieved-be they major or minor. Through grief, powerful healing and growth can occur.

Grief drives us to review the important and unimportant in our lives. Grief lends us the strength to accept the unacceptable. Grief compels us to touch parts of our souls we did not know existed. Grief links us to others in ways we never imagined. Grief redefines what Happiness is.

So my friends, think of each of your losses as the death of a dear friend, and give yourself the freedom to mourn that loss. There is no wrong or right way. It is a deeply personal process. Simply put, it is not the way in which we grieve; it is that we do grieve. So, shed a tear, scream into a pillow, write a poem, reach out to a friend, or even…lend an ear to a sparrow’s song.