Bee Indignant...if only for a bit.

An excerpt from a real letter from a real person to a real company (who shall remain nameless) who is letting me share her wit, wisdom and ability to keep the big picture in focus. Hysterical and oh so true.

What in the world are you trying to do to me? How can you sleep at night knowing what you require of consumers when they think they are going to get a rebate for buying one of your products? Please indulge me for just a moment as I walk you through the painful process that prompted this email .

First you tell me I must fill out the form correctly (Print my name in all caps??? are you kidding??), then I must make sure I use the right address label that you have provided for me (don't fill that envelope out yourself, that will surely void the rebate!) Finally, I almost lose a finger cutting the bar code label off of the box. ( Don't forget to send in the UPC code AND proof of purchase!! Almost got me there!!)

I double check my assignment, make sure I have enough postage ...good Lord, the envelope is almost two inches thick. I truly believe that too few stamps is probably what trips up most consumers........(thank goodness for my in-home postage meter) And then maybe if I haven't screwed up any of the 14 steps , I might be lucky enough to actually get that rebate.....

Not so fast Mrs. Hardworking-short on time-we thought you needed a craft project consumer: Now what we are going to do is send you a prepaid card that requires another 5 steps to redeem it!!!

She certainly will have lost her mind by now and won't be able to make it through this last stage of the process!! I easily see through this thinly veiled effort to try and get me to give up, your are obviously hoping that if the average "Bubba" does manage to actually get his origami project mailed in on time, there is not a chance in hell that he will have the fortitude to make it through the last 8 steps to activate said card?

Well gentlemen, I hate to inform you, but I've been to this rebate rodeo many times before. And this cowgirl isn't going to give up. Not only am I going to activate my card, choose a pin, verify my information and re verify my pin, but after doing so I am going to take sheer pleasure in marching down to my local grocery store to spend my twenty dollars.

As I approach the express lane, I will lift my rebate card high over my head, and laugh an evil, blood curdling laugh knowing you didn't get the best of me. All the while realizing that the time it took to fill out your tedious nerve wracking forms is time that I can never get back.....time spent away from my husband and children, time I could have spent volunteering at my local food bank, time that is gone forever.

My hat is off to you.....enjoy your golden parachute, while I scurry off to claim my gallon of milk and box of tampons.