6.28.2009
Bee a Transformer
6.26.2009
Bee Cool
Friday's Five Things To Be Thankful For:
1. Air conditioning
2. Ice
3. Deoderant
4. People who wear deoderant
5. Fall
6.25.2009
Bee a Censor
Image via Wikipedia
Five Phrases to Be Erased From Our Family Lexicon Starting Tomorrow
1. Insert Name of Person Who Apparently Doesn't Speak at a Decibel Recognizable to Nine Year Olds -
2. Um, not so much. *Roll eyes for effect*
3. Oh no you di n’t! * Include 3 part Z-Snap*
4. OMG!!! *Includes crossed arms and minor stomping*
5. I know…right?
Let me illustrate....
Conversation in my house:
Me: OK, time to turn off the computer.
9 Year Old: Crazy- Turnin’-Off-Computer-Momma say whaaaat? *Bulge eyes for effect and look incredulous*
Me: You heard me, enough computer time for today love. Don’t you think you’ve played enough?
9 Year Old: Um, not so much. *Roll eyes for effect*
Me: Well, regardless, time to turn it off.
9 Year Old: Oh no you di n’t * Include 3 part Z-Snap*
Me: Oh yes I did young lady and no more computer for the rest of the week, and Hannah Montana and iCarley and whatever else I can think of!
9 Year Old: OMG!!!
I know…right?
6.23.2009
Bee Indignant...if only for a bit.
What in the world are you trying to do to me? How can you sleep at night knowing what you require of consumers when they think they are going to get a rebate for buying one of your products? Please indulge me for just a moment as I walk you through the painful process that prompted this email .
First you tell me I must fill out the form correctly (Print my name in all caps??? are you kidding??), then I must make sure I use the right address label that you have provided for me (don't fill that envelope out yourself, that will surely void the rebate!) Finally, I almost lose a finger cutting the bar code label off of the box. ( Don't forget to send in the UPC code AND proof of purchase!! Almost got me there!!)
I double check my assignment, make sure I have enough postage ...good Lord, the envelope is almost two inches thick. I truly believe that too few stamps is probably what trips up most consumers........(thank goodness for my in-home postage meter) And then maybe if I haven't screwed up any of the 14 steps , I might be lucky enough to actually get that rebate.....
Not so fast Mrs. Hardworking-short on time-we thought you needed a craft project consumer: Now what we are going to do is send you a prepaid card that requires another 5 steps to redeem it!!!
She certainly will have lost her mind by now and won't be able to make it through this last stage of the process!! I easily see through this thinly veiled effort to try and get me to give up, your are obviously hoping that if the average "Bubba" does manage to actually get his origami project mailed in on time, there is not a chance in hell that he will have the fortitude to make it through the last 8 steps to activate said card?
Well gentlemen, I hate to inform you, but I've been to this rebate rodeo many times before. And this cowgirl isn't going to give up. Not only am I going to activate my card, choose a pin, verify my information and re verify my pin, but after doing so I am going to take sheer pleasure in marching down to my local grocery store to spend my twenty dollars.
As I approach the express lane, I will lift my rebate card high over my head, and laugh an evil, blood curdling laugh knowing you didn't get the best of me. All the while realizing that the time it took to fill out your tedious nerve wracking forms is time that I can never get back.....time spent away from my husband and children, time I could have spent volunteering at my local food bank, time that is gone forever.
My hat is off to you.....enjoy your golden parachute, while I scurry off to claim my gallon of milk and box of tampons.
Just Bee
I usually find some way to send a note to a friend, find a place to be alone or even drink green beer in her honor. That is until this year. Somehow March flew by like the wind, April a blur and May, well who knows. It was only this day, that I realized that March came and went without any observance on my part whatsoever.
Susie is laughing. And reminding me again. And teaching me again. And doing all those things she did while here that made me crazy, and mad and happy all at the same time.
Green beer anyone?
6.22.2009
Bee a Sparrow
Grief drives us to review the important and unimportant in our lives. Grief lends us the strength to accept the unacceptable. Grief compels us to touch parts of our souls we did not know existed. Grief links us to others in ways we never imagined. Grief redefines what Happiness is.